affeiix

2008-04-17T23:32:00.001+08:00

SWITCHING TO WORDPRESS!

http://elohvielove.wordpress.com/

SAY BYE TO BLOGGER(:

2008-04-15T01:15:00.004+08:00

**mainly about XMEN, explosive ;expressive words ahead. wakakaa**

maybe i shall try switching to wordpress. anyone? is there good? im getting bored of blogger.
it's late now. im still talking rubbish here.
oh well.
actually my main point is to talk about XMEN.
no, not the cartoon.
THE TEAM, THE GROUP THAT MADE ME MISS BAOC like
!@#$%^&*- LY.

perhaps it's cos we are still meeting up for lunch and crapping on msn, makes me feel like im in BAOC. no feeling of nostalgic. cos i'm still living in last week.

let me "if time can go back" for awhile.

soo.

if time can go back, i'll make sure i don skip any mtgs for BAOC.

if time can go back, i'll try my best to read all grp5 BAOC emails and not dlt them.

if time can go back, i'll try my best to make it for all events and outings, and not ignore them.

if time can go back, i'll make sure i go all out for my team!

okay, im done "if time can go back" -ing.

now for the "i thank-s".

soo.

i thank audris , xy , elaine for giving me the chance to be a SB thou i always pon mtgs!

i thank my GRP 4, for making this orientation a fun one for us and yourself.

i thank cheryl and adeline and khai especially, cos your willingness to perform! LOVE YOU GUYS/GIRLS. esp khai, ur 16beat FREE DANCE! hahaha.

i thank for all the friends i made out of the orientation,the friends that i really want to continue having , althou we are from different years and stuff. people like elaine xiyao audris shannon eunice hannah phyllis cheryl raven denise arthur charissa and all the SB/SC/FRESHIES.

to my XMEN 4 freshies.: YOU GUYS ARE INDEED "FRESH" LAAAH:)

and now for my "if i could"

soo..

if i could, i will want to be a SCO for next year's orientation! cos i wanna be a joy to others like how my SCOS had been one to me and all in XMEN this year.

if i could, i will want to keep on mtg xmenIANS. i don even mind sitting in canteen 3, at the bad corner, with no fans and wait for 2 hours.

if i could, i wanna tell all xmenIANS, I LOVE XMEN!

* maybe i will try watching XMEN cartoon huh*

hahas.

special mentions :STORM! DENISE! RAIN PLEASE! :)

and xmen people, if you wanna ur picture, can try asking me, i'm bound to have your face in at least one picture in 220+ photos right?
i'll TRY:) hiakhiak:D

2008-04-13T15:11:00.001+08:00

deleted the last post.
it shall be only.

XMEN NI HOU BO
hou ar hou ar
XMEN NI ZAI BO
zai ar zai ar
XMEN NI STEADY BO
steady ar steady ar
XMEN NI HOU BO ZAI BO STEADY BO
hou are zai ar steaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddy ar!
woosh woooosh woooosh(:

2008-04-08T01:53:00.002+08:00

was reading this book called "tuesdays with morrie".
though it's a secular book, but stil, it made me think, as the old man go thru different topics and one of it was talking about how to listen to others.

yeah duh. listen. with my ears. but how about listening with your heart,
listening, as if you are not going to answer anyway, yet you listen on?

when was the last time you listened and within a minute, stray off and became a -nods head, say yes, nod head again, say yes again- monotonous person?

but when was the last time you listened for 5 minutes, with all your full focus on that certain person, without trying to sell him/her something or waiting for him/her to finish the sentence before you can answer?

oh man, im so guilty of this.
i like to talk.
ALOT.
that i sometime forget to listen
with my heart.
talking seems to be my second nature.
listening became sth distant to me.
bad. very bad.

a quote from the book.
-when you talk to someone, bring yourself out of the situation, even if you do not put yourself in the another person's shoe-
tuesdays with morrie

a quote from the bible
-He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame.-
proverbs 18:13

ponders-

2008-04-04T01:32:00.002+08:00

this gonna be a wordy and lengthy post, so caution (:

saw this very.. inspiring nick on one particular friend's MSN.

-what exactly am i fighting for?-

and it made me think. what exactly are people fighting for? money. position. authority. name. fame. the best car. the best job. the best spouse. the best outfit. the top post. the popular girl or guy in school.

what exactly it is?

for me, is a fight to be a friend to all my friends.

what exactly counts as a friend?

a friend that treats you genuinely. who loves you like you are, yet choose to point out your flaws so that you can improve. one that do not only pinpoint but also offers to help you change. one who accepts that you can't change in a blink of an eye and choose to undergo the changing process with you.

but yet.many a times, what do people look for? a perfect made friend, who is supposingly without flaws? who doesnt need any changing, who is perfect on his or her own?

a. if you can't accept your friend's flaws, you are not being a friend.

a. if you see your friend's flaw, yet choose to keep quiet about it, you are not being a friend.

a. if you saw your friend's flaw, and tell him/her about it, yet chose not to stick by him/her thru the process, you are not being a friend.

a. but if you saw your friend's flaw, and tell him/her about it , and chose to stick by him/her thru the process, and yet had not loved(as a friend, i must say), you are not being a friend.

geunine love.

it's that simple thing that makes friends, FRIENDS.

am i one?

i want to be one.

many times,people look to different areas of their life, to seek for true love, geunine love. love that never fails them, never leave them. yet many a times, they failed miserably, ending up to be crawling back , defeated and worn. sometimes we just have to look around us. we don have to look far. everything that may seem far , may be something very easily found afterall.

take God's love for example. simple. it's everywhere. u can accept it anywhere you want to. yet no one knows about or rather do not want to know about it, cos they simply DON SEE IT. in this world that we are living , lives a theory at work - i believe in only wad i see and nothing else, cos wad i see is the truth and nothing else but the truth-. which is directly opposite of what the earth is orginally created with and for.

to deny myself, to recognise Christ in me!

-ponders-

a random picture.

2008-03-27T01:38:00.002+08:00

i think seeking self glory is..
-looking for chances to make oneself stand out and shine, at the expense of others.
-taking away the glory that is supposingly God's.
-not leaving behind what oneself had came across and thinking it was deserved.
-doing things out of selfish ambitions.
-self promoting, self seeking, selfish.

i think seeking self glory is NOT..
-being loving to people around you.
-the way to treat people around you.
-looking at how else can you better serve the people around you.
-being as one as Christ.

phil 2:1-4
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,
if any comfort from his love,
if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness and compassion,

2then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love,
being one in spirit and purpose.

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

4Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.

hmm?

2008-03-24T22:54:00.002+08:00

when something that i wanted very badly, yet do not get it.
do i get upset?
do i get mad?
do i have no reaction?
do i bother fighting for it?

yes, no, no, yes.

STILL I'LL PRAISE YOU,

STILL I'LL PRAISE YOU.

'ALL I AM'

The day you came and found me

I was lost inside

You called me from my darkness

Into your light

I thought the times I trusted

Was all the time i wasted

But Jesus your so faithful,

Now I can say

All I am is yours....

All I am is yours

I can hear you clearly, now I understand

I heard you call my name,

and I know its for real

You took the pain inside me,

for all the light inside You

You became the reason

Now I can say

All I am is yours,

All I am is yours

All i am is yours,

All I am is yours....

.I can't spend another day,

away from your heart

I can't spend another away from you..

Cause All I am is yours,

All I am is yours

2008-03-03T20:45:00.001+08:00

You Saw Me

Your glory fills the heavens
Your glory fills the earth
Still You chose surrender
You gave yourself for me

God of our salvation
Humble,righteousness
You paid the price of freedom
You took the lonely cross

Bless The Lord always
Bless Your Holy Name

And You saw me
When You took the crown of thorn
And Your blood washes over me
And You love me
With the nail that You bore
And Your Blood washes over me

There's a life no other
Grace without the name
As You work upon us
You died and rose again

2008-02-27T00:31:00.001+08:00

if a person wants to get to point B by starting at point A,
he must first leave point A so that he can reach point B.
reasonable?

unfortunately,
i just realised this theory.

but that's not lateeeee!

TO LOSE, IS TO GAIN! [:

2008-02-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

http://www.the-movement08.blogspot.com/

GO0 HERE, GO HERE!
HYPERVENTILATES**

2008-02-15T21:32:00.003+08:00

let's compose the hypo.
and den find the CV and the rule
and den the TS!
and so if this is less than that, so that is this and
HYPO O is rejected.

lol,for those who don't understand, nvm.
(:

a photo of my extra huge-est family of my mother's side.
p.s it isn't all. HAHA

fried udon (:

2008-02-13T21:23:00.002+08:00

soon it will be valentine day.
remembered having Mcdonalds' McNugget Meal on last year's.
what will it be this year?

McFillet?
HOHOHOHOHO.

mug mug mug muugg.

2008-02-04T11:03:00.000+08:00

and if everyone is busy studying,
who is going to be the one showing some love?

:D

show it HERE and THERE.
a little HERE
a little THERE.

if the sole reason for my existance was
to please myself, i had lived in vain.

had i?

shown some Christ love.
had you?

:D

i love you.
ask me why.

2008-01-13T01:52:00.000+08:00

Second Chance

You called my name, reached out your hand
Restored my life, and I was redeemed
The moment you entered my life

Amazing grace, Christ gave that day
My life was changed
Went from my shoulders, fell the weight of my sin

So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for your hand
The hope that changed a second chance I’ve gained
On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts as I rest in you
I’m now in love with a Saviour
Bearing the marks of his love

So I wait upon you now
With my hands released to you
Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lifted move
Yeah and I wait upon you now
Dedicated to your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails

it doesn't matter how many times i failed.
God forgave me.
He gives chances, second , third, fourth...
for the many times i'm listening to this,
yet each time there's a conviction in me
that sets me free.

we have the freedom to choose
choices to eat to drink
to laugh to cry to be angry
choices to see to hear to feel
to know to numb to run
for "everything is permissible,
yet not everything is beneficial".

will i choose what is beneficial
instead of what is permissible?

2008-01-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

OUR DREAMS!
[part of the deco peepo]

AND!
just to "show off" how irritating i can be
like, appearing in every supposed-to-be-single-person-shot.
like. TADAS~

D! with da wanlin.

R! with koh wei.

E! with xgrace.

A! with ade choooo aka baozhu whose real name is yuling.
woots, she's gonna kill me for this. heh =/

M! muahaha, myself.
sadly, the M broke in the end.
AHEM, not in my hands thou.

S! xavier.
didnt appear here cos..
apparently sth more interesting than
photo taking caught my attn, and i ran off!

2008-01-06T02:09:00.000+08:00

i need alot of faith
i need alot of courage
i need alot of wisdom.
to do alot of things for God ,
to bring alot of ppl to Christ,
to get alot of marks
to get alot of points for GPA.

the year of alot.
God, i'm so looking forward to it!!

2008-01-05T00:28:00.000+08:00

it feels like ____ when u message a bunch of people and none had the courtesy to reply.

so it went from

"ok, i think still sleeping la, wait awhile more"

to " think got school, cant use phone"

to " think eating, den cant msg.."

to "9pm show nice to watch, mayb later got reply"

to " think sleep liao, nvm tmr will reply when wake up"

smacks celia on the face.

bla.

anw!

it's the mugging season.

let the boooooks rain.

raaaain down on me.

blaa.

2008-01-03T00:10:00.000+08:00

im blogging since sabrina says that a new year must have a new post.
lol.

nah~ im not that wu liao.

YET.

last year. 2007.
tempted. trials. survived.
april. july. dec.

this year. 2008.
looking forward to more.
unknown. unknown. unknown.
challenges. unseen. unknowing.

i'm looking forward to 2008,
and it had JUST STARTED!

2007-12-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

this post is for YING YING.

Counting on God

VERSE 1
I'm in a fight ,not physical
And I'm in a war
But not with this world
You are the light that's beautiful
And I want more
I want all that's Yours

PRE-CHORUS
Joy unspeakable that won't go away
And just enough strength
To live for today
So I never have to worry
What tomorrow will bring
'Cause my faith is on solid rock
I am counting on God

CHORUS
I am counting on
I am counting on God

BRIDGE
The miracle of Christ in me
Is the mystery that sets me free
I'm nothing like I used to be
Open up your eyes you'll see

Matt 6:34(The Message Bible)
34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

hey, jiayou. whatever that happens on 26-28, as long as you did your best yeah?
cheeeeers(:

**this post is supposed to be read on 25th dec, so tmr is meaning to tmr, aka 26th dec!!**

2007-12-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

reckon that this will be an ultra uber long post since it had been ages since i log on.
it had been a long week with YI camp and den xmas bash!
God had been working around this week and i'm really glad that He did so.
YI camp, im sure it had been an awakening call to many. aka me too.

how to be patient , how to love others like never,
how to look from the another view, how to submit,
how to take others as they are and not judge.

hard love.

having visions and connecting to God.
learning to move with the Holy Spirit,
crying out for Him without caring about anything
simply just worshipping for who He is, and not what He can do

knowing my core mates even better.
realising how blessed i am to have them as mates.

ACTS 4.1, WATCH THIS.
I LOVE YOU ALL.

unconditioned love
poking each other for the fun of it
yet watching one another's backs.

xmas bash.
ziya , you came!(:
although there was a slight disappointment, but still xmas bash was great and great and awesome.
the skit , the songs.
where the first person ran down the aisle to the altar, eager to receive Christ as her Saviour.
as many followed on.
as Joseph, Serene, Mindy etc went to the altar too.
as everyone bow their head.
God is doing something
God is moving in here.

I FOUND MY BIBLE BACK.
hohoo.

anyway, it had been a long time since i posted songs.
and here's one.

Second Chance
Hillsong United

You called my name, reached out your hand
Restored my life, and I was redeemed
The moment you entered my life

Amazing grace, Christ gave that day
My life was changed
Went from my shoulders, fell the weight of my sin

CHORUS:
So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for your hand
The hope that changed a second chance I’ve gained
On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts as I rest in you
I’m now in love with a Saviour
Bearing the marks of his love

So I wait upon you now
With my hands released to you
Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lifted move
Yeah and I wait upon you now
Dedicated to your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails

2007-12-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

watched alvin and the chipmunks.
no, im not going to advertise this show because it's the show.
haha.

but if u do watch the show.
pretend u are alvin simon and theodore.
and then pretend "uncle ian" is satan
and then pretend that dave is . oh well. God in this sense.
yep.
ian does provide fun and big houses nice food, servants blah blah blaa.
but so wad. he's jus using the chipmunks.
but dave is the one who really loved them and called them "his boys".
does it matter now who offer more fun ?
no.

jus go watch it.
bring ur cousin or sth.
younger ones of cos.
haha.

YI CAMP IS COMING UP!
YELLOOOOOOW TRIBE
WE ARE YELOOOOOOW.
WIN WIN WIN.
WATCH OUT(:

2007-12-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

saw something interesting and ultra and super and ultimate sweet when i was on the bus to school today.

mich joy sending abigail to the bus stop and leaving only when she sees abigail board the bus.

ah,okay, mayb only i think it's sweet.
but. really what.
=/

mine don even pass me the umbrella):

2007-12-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

special post dedicated to the who(you know yourself)

sorry for the times that you felt pangseh-ed.
i didnt meant it to be like that one.
you know im like that one
i always kan chiong den i rush here and there.
den i always expect people to keep up.
but then i never think of yoou.
sorry friend, you know im not on purpose one.
know and rmb that i love you.
soooo.
just wanna say.
IM SORRY

2007-12-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

friend ONE
i knew you for years, yet i only knew you this year.
through all the ups and downs
through times that i thought you wun be there for me
yet you were there for me.
through the goods and bads
through those periods where i don hear from you
yet you were there.
through all the misunderstandings and understandings
we just grew closer and closer
i was glad for all those that happened
it made me realise a sister in you.
hey friend, thanks for everything.

friend TWO
it had been a long time since we talked
and i miss you.
i rmb the times when we talked
i rmb the time when we quarreled.
i rmb the time when we had cold war
i rmb your hse your family.
i rmb the day when i was soo happy
i miss you i miss the old you
changes. why why why.
we were friends we are friends we ain't friends.
hey friend, i jus want to tell you.
i miss yoou.

friends THREE
i miss the times that we shared
the times that we talked.
blinks. why why.
for the best of all.
for the best.
leave it leave it.
hey friends, you are missed.

friend FOUR
i knew you i didnt want to know you
yet now i know you and i really know you.
up and downs good and bad tough and fun
a true sister.
we'll be there for one another, wun we?
hey friend, i love yoou.

friends FIVE
for a year we were inseperable,
for another year we barely talked.
even when i was gone, there were no qn from you
were we friends?
yes i know we were.
i missed the times we talked.
we share we cry we thought we talk.
you said responsibility, i believed.
you said nothing, i left.
but still
hey friends, i trust yoou.

friend SIX
we said we were sisters
yet there were times i felt not
there were times u acted not
there were times we war-ed.
but yet through all the times
we grew closer
we understood one another
telepathy, we had it
we knew each other.
though things had changed
hey friend, you are stil much loved.

friend SEVEN
encourager discourager
less talk, more care
Christ love in action,
that's what i see in you.
hey friend, thanks a million.

will we be friends til eternity?
will you say a HI?
friends, friends-not, friends.
trust in you, trust in You.

2007-11-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

Praise You in This Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen"
and it's still raining.

Yet as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

Chorus:
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

Yet as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth.

God be the glory
You never fail to provide,
to rescue, to save, to love me.

2007-11-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

Isaiah 40:31
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

im weak. wouldn't You strengthen me Lord.

2007-11-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, CELIA(:

2007-11-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

Slow Fade
Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings.
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises leave broken hearts astray

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see

2007-11-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

"we were made small and weak at times,
to show how big and strong He is."

"don you walk off this field without doing ur best."

"don touch me, im standing for my son."

"keep driving
keep going
hey don quit on me
you got nothing left
i want everything you got
your very best.
don quit on me
i know it hurts!
just keep going!
comeon!
you promised me your best!
no it's not too hard
don quit!
go! keep going
don quit don quit!
you can you can!
don quit comon!"

"if we win, we praise God.
if we lose.. we still praise God."

"God will send the rain when He's ready.
you need to prepare ur field to recieve."

the reality that He had given me
so much chances is simply hard to grasp.
no time to waste, it's time to live like
there's no more tmr, no more chance left.

im making a stand for Him.
im not ashamed to do so.
my friends, my classmates.
their souls, i reach.

2007-11-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

really do hope my stupid antics made u guys rmb everything i say.

loves(:

2007-10-30T12:18:00.000+08:00

BREAK FREE, BREAK APART.

after this half a year,
i finally woke up to the idea that i have to break apart to do His work.
He's been calling me to so. but i kept on running away.
but now it's time
it's time to break apart.
yes God, i got Your point.

if this rain brings You glory, let it storm.

2007-10-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

random things
understand if u wud
don understand if u don
hehe.

top on the list,
i miss DOROTHY TAY SHU YEN.
and then.
the first and last quarrel.
there you got it.
anyway anyhow
as long as
yeah, that's it.
i miss SIEWLING jiejie
oneTWOoneONEoneNINEnineZERO
TNEINNTEH
nn nn SIEWLING! nn nn!
ci xiang lao ren!!
God is great, sing His praise!
i'll read my bible and pray.
for all my friend who dono You,
i pray that You'll save them tooooo.

2007-10-27T10:43:00.000+08:00

Lord, I lift my friend to You
I’ve done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

Complicated circumstances
Have clouded his(her) view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won’t have the words
That he(she) needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, Oh God
And a heart that’s sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know
He(she) means much more to You
I want so much to help him(her)
But this is something he(she) has to do
And, Lord, I lift my friend up to You

‘Cause there’s a way that seems so right to him(her)
But You know where that leads
He’s(she's) becoming a puppet of the world
Too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
I’ve done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

a prayer for you.
nine years. 9.
i miss you.
and im sure
Jesus miss you even more.

BRING THE RAIN

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storms
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know There’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus Bring the Rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain

Holy, Holy, Holy Is the Lord God Almighty

YES! GOD, THIS IS MY PRAYER, MY SHOUTOUT TO YOU.

2007-10-25T01:08:00.000+08:00

"后来我发现，原来你有这么爱我。原来你对我拥有那么多的不忍心和心疼。原来你对我的缺点有那么多的包容与忍耐，原来你比谁都更爱，更了解，更珍惜我。

我也发现原来当我难过害怕时，提起手机打的号码一直都是你的。原来当我落泪时，搭德士赶来陪我的人，也一直都是你。

你说，我还会更爱谁？"

quoted from jac.
so sorry i nv got ur permission first anw.
heeee(:

but anw. i quoted it cos i jus feel that it matches what i wanna say to God.
except for the 提起手机打 and the 搭德士 part la. hahas.
Jesus loves you.
i know im random(:

2007-10-23T17:59:00.000+08:00

Jesus knew my every sin
He knew my every temptation
He knew my every straying thoughts
He knew my procrastinations
He knew them all.

WHY?
cos He paid for them.

WITH?
His life.

WHERE?
on the cross

HOW?
by dying for me.

He did it for me,
and also you.
for the world He gave(:

2007-10-21T02:11:00.000+08:00

the halfyear of losing
i gained the most precious things.
but i lost them too.
was it bout treasuring?
was it bout catching the opportunities?
was it bout getting the most out of it?
what was it about?

God, i don't know.
TAKE ME, TEACH ME, SHOW ME.

2007-10-20T11:09:00.000+08:00

Homesick
MercyMe

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

2007-10-20T11:06:00.000+08:00

i lost 4 things that were so precious.
feel like stamping the ground,
sit down and sulk
whine for all i can.

but what for.
STAND UP.

okay.

2007-10-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

countless talks.
countless blames.
but just one word from God.
i'm assured.

hey my ant.
even if u bite me,
i choose to shield you in this storm.
love you.

2007-10-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

got this from von.
she specifically told me that i AM TO DO IT.
wooot, so here's it.
hahahah

Terrible Twos

Two Names You Go By:
- cecilia
-celia

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
- t-shirt
- specs

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
- swing(:
-talking!!

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
- hahas, secret(:
- my paaaaaay.

Two favourite brand of clothes:
all are fine with me lehs.

Two things you did last night:
- churrch-ed
- change blogskins for ppl

Two things you ate today:
- some weird HUGE hotdog(CHEESE) bun.
- some weird laska which is uber nice at .. ehm. yuhua?

Two people you Last Talked To:
talked? as in.literally? not msn?
- qing
- sab

Two Things You're gonna do tomorrow:
- schoooool
- torture mingyang with maths

Two Favorite Holidays:
- christmas
- chinese new year!

Two favorite beverages:
- iced milooo
- coke light

Two favorite TV shows:
sad to say, i don watch teevee.

Two favorite foods:
ehm, got food jiu.. eat. haha

Two of your least favorite things to do:
-sweeeep the floor at DOME.
-waking up for school

Two things you want to do before you die:
- confess my love to those i love but don'tdare say.
- share the gospel!!!

Two persons you want to tag to do this:
- siewling
- anyone lors. haha.

2007-10-14T01:22:00.000+08:00

WAITING
i hated to wait in the past.
why wait
but that thurs, God told me to..

WAIT.

for what. =/

for Me.

*yanks hair, tear skin*

wait, My child.

*must i?

WAIT!

alrights, i will.

for an awful long period of time, i waited.

and waited.

and..

WAITED.

and then, the words that made me bawl.

My girl,don you rmb the first time when I told you to wait ,

and u patiently waited? u waited with a innocent faith.

u trusted that i had sth in store for u, that's why u waited.

and now u had lost it. i wanted you to get it back.

i'm guilty Father, i lost that. but i found it again. thanks(:

show Me your heart. i'll show you My ways

2007-10-06T12:06:00.000+08:00

I’m not ashamed of the gospel Lord
Your power Your love
You saved my soul
Now i am alive in You
I live in the risen Son

If You can use anything
Won't You use me
Take me and break me and
Mould me and make me
You died for me
So I'm living for You
I'm living for You
I'm living for You

Would you believe me
Would you listen if I told you that
There is a love that makes a way
And never holds us back

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, "daughter" and "son"
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

So we raise up holy hands
To praise the Holy One
Who was and is and is to come

Here I bring my stains and crowns
Gentle river wash me now
Your love is deeper than I know
Your ways higher than I can go

Tell me how I got here
I couldn't make it on my own
Just tell me I can stay
Cause it feels so much like home
And I lose all track of time
When I look into Your eyes
Your love is all I know

2007-10-06T01:32:00.000+08:00

people, if u are gg to any functions or party,
one thing NOT to do.

that is to YANK their server by the arm.

no matter IF you are DYING of thirst or what,

DON'T.

yeah, don alright.

and i stil repeat, don't.

2007-10-03T12:19:00.000+08:00

this post is esp for the person who love PATRICK and SPONGBOB.
you know who you are.
wahahaha(:
instead of soaking in the seawater, soak up God's word alright?
jiayou!(:

2007-10-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

as i read thru a old friend's blog.
it brought me back into the old times.
things changed. it's time to move on.
let the past be a spurring event, not a stumbling block.
friend gained friend lost.
it's all according to His will.
so don bother bulldozing ur way thru
something u have no ctrl over.
yes Daddy, i got it(:

hey i really don mean it that way.
but what i said, i stil stand by it.
i know it don sound good
but if it's true and it helps, i will say it.
even if it makes u hate me.
cos i simply love you too much.

2007-10-01T11:49:00.000+08:00

**forgotten to add. this is taken from xuele's blog(:**
TRY IT! :D
First Step
Identifying whether you're a left or right brainer

Hold your hands together, as if you were praying
Look at your hands.
If your right thumb is above your left thumb, you're a left.
If your left thumb is above your right thumb, you're a right.

2. Now, fold your arms together, as though you're angry.
Look at your arms.
If your right arm is above your left arm, you're a left.
If your left arm is above your right arm, you're a right.

Based on '1' and '2'.
Interpretation of your personality&

i belong to ...Right-Left

Considerate, traditional, indirect type.
Can instinctly read other's emotion,
and respond friendly by natures.
Although not very into taking initiatives in moving forward,
but this person will always take a step back in supporting others.
Stable personality and considerate,
give others a being protected feeling.
But the weakness is they cannot say no;
regardless how unwilling they are,
they will take care of others

i LOL-ed at a part. the part of stable personality.
ppl had been telling me that im unpredictable.
like a bomb set to "random mode"
WAHAHHAH!
oh well(:

2007-09-27T22:18:00.000+08:00

tmr last day at domeUOB.
okay, that's not the point.
the point is that. i came to realise God's love thru my colleagues and working place.
thou some are not christians,
they smoke, they scold vulgarities like u say Hi everyday and blah~
BUT!

there is one man that caught my respect. and that's my manager , Gary.
everyday he appear in work faithfully, at this branch, for the past 15 years.
rain or shine, sickness or not, he's there.
during the day, no matter rush hour or not, he's ever calm, nothing could make him raise his voice.
no matter what, he start off with a "can u please" and end off with a "thank you".
althou a manager , and a very senior one, he lower himself to a worker lvl, to clear plates, cook, wash dirty plates.
even as the asst manager(May) order him around, he bear no grudges and continue to work.
trying to help May, he was brushed away, saying that he is blocking the way.
he even said SORRY, and then helped her do other things, so that she will not be overloaded!
even when customers blasting at his ears, with workers not alert enuf, he stay calm, stays loving.
wow. he surely did earned our respect as our "papa gary", "daddy", "father","dear mr tham".

come to think of it.
isnt God like this towards to?
He shield us when ppl throw words at us.
He beared everything so that we will be spared.
He stayed calm and in control althou things seemed to be spinning out of control
rain or shine, no matter it is raining cats and dogs or cheetahs, He's there.
faithfully and strong.
althou we may push him away thinking that He is in our way, He does not complain, but yet cont to help us, underloading us, so that we will not be strained.
we may not be doing things up to His standard, but no worries, He stil love us still.
cos He's my dear Daddy.

what do we take God as?
a servant to be ordered around?
a friend who we call on only when we are free?
a genie in a lamp?
or a father who love us for who we are?
someone unseen yet we put our trust in?

my prayer today for myself..
is to build this r/s with God,
to stay faithful and steadfast.
He never failed to remind me of the love we have.
conscious of this, i don wan to disappoint Him.
most imptly, i want to love Him.

2007-09-26T20:36:00.000+08:00

God never fail to bless His faithful kids.
just when things are going low for me,
with 2 more days to 28SEP( a kind -of big day for all working ppl),
my grandma suddenly gave me money.
just for no reason. she said she felt like giving me.
and if this is not enuf, she chose to give me only,
out of her 28 grandchildren and 9 children,
not to mention a uber duper extended branch of daughter/son-in lawS.
amazed but not shocked.
what for.
i knew my God never fails to surprise.
thank You Daddy.
and also, big hug ah ma(: weee(:

don say you know you know but then ended up you dono wad to do.
or lagi best,
don say i know i know and ended up not even gg to do what u are to do.
know it , do it.
dono it, ask it, know it, do it.

i'll miss domeUOB(:

2007-09-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

Come Home Running
Chris Tomlin

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run awa
yAnd one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, "daughter" and "son"
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

RUN back home, to WALK with Him.

with this faith i walked to Daddy,
holding out my pains.
pains that i kept to myself for a long long time
i risked placing them in Man
and true enough, Man failed me.
tis betrayal from Man, i placed it on God too.
thinking that Man are from God, thus what Man are, God is.
but NO!
God is the creator, not the created.
God is the potter, not the clay.
God is the Father, not the child.
what Man is, might not be what God is
cos Man had sins.
but yet what God is, what Jesus is,
is ultimately what we as Man shud be like.
i wan to be like Jesus,
i'm a little Jesus.
a special kind of faith, not the normal kind.
a childlike faith.

2007-09-23T21:00:00.000+08:00

My friend, I stand in judgment now
and feel that you are to blame somehow.
While on this earth, I walked with you day by day,
and never did you point the way.

You knew the Lord in truth and glory,
but never did you tell the story.
My knowledge then was very dim,
you could have led me safe to Him.

Though we live together here on earth,
you never told me of your second birth.
And now I stand this day condemned,
because you failed to mention Him.

You taught me many things, that's true.
I called you a friend and trusted you.
But now I've learnt, now too late.
You could have kept me from this fate.

We walked by day and talked by night,
yet you showed me not the light.
You let me live, love and die
and all the while you knew,
I could never live on high.

Yes, I called you friend in life.
and trusted you in joy and strife.
yet in coming to this end,
I see you really weren't my friend.

don wait til this happen.
do sth today!

2007-09-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

http://cbs4.com/iteam/local_story_254163721.html
the man who claimed to be Jesus.

some outlandish comments:
What De Jesus is doing at more than 300 centers in Central and South America, Cuba and the U.S. is preaching a message of "freedom to indulge" because according to this modern messiah, there is no sin, no devil and no hell to pay.

and even..
His mother, Regina Albarracin said, "You think he's Jesus Christ? No he’s the devil. You think he's the devil? Yes that's him."

one of the many promises that God had given to us in the Bible.
He had been there,is there now, and will always be there for us.

JEREMIAH 29:10-14
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

seeking Him with all your heart.
countless people had complained of not finding God when they tried to find Him.
but had tey really seeked Him with their heart?
[note to self]
it's seeking with the heart. not the eye.
it's time to stop poking my tiny telescope unto His little toe.
ask Him instead.

2007-09-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

we are acts four, spurring one another to greater heights.

came across xben and alvin's blog. this awesome pair of brothers that we have in acts4. they added joy to all, their laughters and "bu yao wan la!"s( from little alvin).

talking bout alvin's blog. u cant believe that it is written by a primary 6 boy. the lvl of trust, the lvl of maturity seen in him, awesome. learning to seek from God, asking Him for solutions when he is down, even i don not dare to say that i will do so everytime i face a problem. yet alvin, 12 years old, he did so. and he obeyed God when he heard Him.
his reaction is as natural as one needs food to survive.

a direct extract:
"He said tat juz go.Then i go lor.I dun wan to let the devil to b happy n i wanna let God b happy.
So i went."

so i go lor.
it was plainly, God said so, so i listened.
awesome boy.

jumping from alvin's to xben's blog.
lvl of maturity, made me want to have a brother like him. despite himself being pressurized under Nlvls and parents objections, ( and mind you, being the oldest meant all pressures are on u), he persist on, trusting God, holding and leading his two brothers on, letting them stand firm for their faith. encouraging and spurring.

a direct extract
:so i told myself and my two brothers
STUDY HARD FOR OUR EXAMS
SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO ( GO FOR ) CHURCH:)

xiaoben might be small. but don belittle his great faith.
press on Lin brothers. we're all waiting to see you guys back in church every sat. in mission fields. in cell group, in all that God had planned for you.

the family for eternity.

2007-09-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

we are made to yearn for love, cos God wanted us to yearn for Him.
but even as God gave His love His Son His everything for us, all He wanted
was our LOVE our HEART our TRUST our EVERTYHING.
this amazing fact i had a hard time grasping- that He wanted to be loved by me!

who would liked to hear
" you were my last choice, i got no others"
"you are just a substitute for someone else"
"you were jus convenient"
"you were just pitied by me".

but yet many used these words on God.
as much as it hurt us as human to hear these, how much it hurt Daddy in Heaven to hear the very ppl whom He created with His own hands. as well as He could create us, He could jolly well destroy us at a swipe of His finger.
but yet He chose to love us on, beyond His tears, He loved us.

did God needed ur pity?
no, He wanted your love.
did God needed to be your last choice, when He could had the world?
no, He chose to save you when u are in the lowest.
by grace He did so.
did Jesus had no choice but to be binded on the cross? to suffer to bleed?
no, He chose to die, so that u could live.

NAILS DIDN'T KEEP JESUS ON THE CROSS. LOVE DID.

this earth is just a transition for me. my home is in Heaven with Father.

2007-09-16T19:44:00.000+08:00

taken from the book [ Captivating] ..

feminity is not by a prescribed formula, nor a check box.
it is not a "complete this ten things and u are a woman" kind of class.
it starts with the heart.
the heart of a woman is
powerful and tender, fierce and alluring.
don mess with it.

"we rose to the challenge working tgt, and the fact that it required all of me, that i was in it with my familt, to be surrounded by the wildness and dangers. no longer myself in me, but a valient and strong woman."

to be told when you are young and searching that "u can be anything" is not helpful. it's too vast. it gives no directions as to where to head towards. to be told when u are older tat "u can do anything a man can do" isn't helpful too. i didn't want to be a man. what does it meant to be a woman?

how can a woman of God , and be confident ,scandalous and beautiful, yet not portray herself as a feminist Nazi, or an insecure I -need-attention emotional whore. how can she become a strong woman without becoming harsh? how can she be vulnerable without drowning herself in her sorrow?

a godly woman is .. tired.

we feel unseen ,even by those who are closest to us.
we feel unsought, that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. and
we feel uncertain, uncertain what it even means to be a woman, uncertain what it truly means to be feminine, uncertain if we are or ever will be..

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23

let all women to be the Sleeping Beauty , the Cinderella, the Snow White, the Little Mermaid, the Beauty, the Elinor, the Jo, the Murron, to be pursued by the Prince who kiss, the Prince with the glass slipper, the Prince who saves, the Prince who look beyond her tail, the Beast, the Edward, the Friedrich, the William of their life.

let no woman take the role of the man.
let what is originally of God's plan, to be of what it should be.

when we are all young, we long to be precious to someone. as we grow older, that longing turns into a desire to be pursued and wanted as a woman.

do not be ashamed to yearn, to long for love.
why should i be embarassed to do so?
it is and still is in my very nature.

outward beauty would had been nothing;
if not for the beauty of the heart inwards

all our lifes, women had been trying to pursue this beauty, that would attract many to chase and sought after, worth the effort to be fought over. but after much turmoil and tears shed in this pursuit, we gradually came to the realization of that - the beauty is to be coming from the heart, and not anywhere else.

and so .. [note to myself]
as men are made to pursue , women are made to wait to be pursued.
let the order not to be disrupted. let what is to be done; to be done.
Daddy, guard my heart. let me wait in my chamber quietly(:

2007-09-14T11:03:00.000+08:00

POA-B
BCA-C+
BMGT-C
IAC-B
LMS-B
BLAW-B
overall GPA-2.75

thank God for the 2 Cs, that they are not D.
was expecting to fail them, cos of some reasons.
but i passed!
somemore is C! not D.

next semester.
3.5 GPA, here i come.

2007-09-14T10:43:00.000+08:00

List out your top 5 birthday presents u wish for:
-family to understand
-dorothy and qiaoyi to be back!
-grow in God, serve Him in missions EOY.
-better grades next sem
-don like to request for material stuff,cos i nv knew what i wanted offhand. haha

1) The person who tagged are: siewling

2. Your relationship w them are:she's my jiejie, churchmates,bbss mates. T85 mates to be!

3. Your 5 impressions of them:- madness. talk nonstop. sensitive. ROARs with me. loving!

4. The most memorable thing they had done for you:to be there when i needed her!(:

5. The most memorable words that they have said to u:"by law of hazel, u must eat at least 2 MEALS hor"

6. If they become your lover, you will?:awesome.we are alr are.erts. lols. haha!

7. If they are your lovers, what they have to improve on: muahahahhaa.impatience!

8. If they become your enemies, you will? :cry. lols.

9. If they become your enemies, the reason is:conflicts of ideas?

10. The most desire thing you would like to do for her now is? : mug with her.work with her. protect er from evil alex. muahahahas.

11. Your overall impression of them:aint this the same as 3). hahas

12. How do you think people around u will feel about u:i dono, ask them(: i think noisy bah. im always LOL-ing. literally.

13. The character u love about yourself is: i love myself being talkative the MOST.but i love myself no matter what. muahahas

14. On the contrary, what character u hate about yourself:judgeful?

15. The most ideal person I would like to be:myself(:

16. For the people who cared & liked you say something to them:thanks.-hugs. (:

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about u.
nop.it gonna stop here. don wan hai ren!(:
byebye!

2007-09-14T10:32:00.000+08:00

The Blog Keeping Rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their blog about their eight things and post these rules. at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they are tagged and to read your blog.

8 facts/habits about me:
1)i can talk non stop for hours, jus provide me with water.
2)i'll faint if i run for long.
3)i can call ppl in the middle of night, and not rmbing it the next day.
4)i don like getting these quizes, cos most of my friends are my friend's friends too, and i got not much ppl else to tag, unless those uber suay one.
5)i sing to myself during work.
6)i will burst out in sharp LOLs for no reason.
7)my phone is white(that's the thing beside me, bopian)
8) this thing is ending, and im happy(:

tadas. im not gg to hai any other 8 ppl. so it shall end here. wee!(:

2007-09-11T01:07:00.000+08:00

*knocks on celia's concrete hard yet empty on the inside ,brain.*
hello?
how long more are you going to deny that u are not letting go?
how long more are you going to pretend that u had forgotten?
how long more are you going to take?
tell Me, cos I'll wait no matter what.

do you think that by not telling
by not talking bout it
by showing ur standard i'm alright face,
you are really alright?
MY DEAR GIRL, I SEE YOUR HEART, NOT YOU.

COME TO ME MY DAUGHTER
come to me and i promise you that your heart will be whole again
no longer do you have to feel insecure.
no longer do you have to hop here and there
no longer do you have to feel alone
no longer do you have to feel that no one cares
no longer do you have to feel that you are nobody
no longer do you have to feel like you are better off dead.

just come to me.
I promise I'll heal you
I promise I'll be here.
don rely on Man!
I created them.
don I know them the best?
don I know them better than you?

don worry for him
worry over things u cant change
focus my girl!
focus on things that matters.
things that matters for My Kingdom
things that you cud actually make a difference in
promise Me that you will do ur best in my work,
and I'll promise you that I'll give u the best in ur life.

the best husband,
the best life,
the best friends,
the best of everything.
all that you ask in My name, I grant you.
as long as you obey, you follow Me.

I'll show you my plans
I'll show you the world,
as long as you obey me.

and now, mr satan, if you wud leave me, cos i'm ready to do sth for my God.
if not, don blame me for doing things the rough way.

i used to had two friends
i was best friends with both of them
yet strangely, they never had met.
spent my time with either of them
so i was just here or there.

they had one more friend
yet i never want to know
each day he will shake my hand
yet each day i wud watch him like a show

one day i dreamt that i died
and went to heaven to meet God
saw that friend and i tried to hide
peeking down and i saw that Hell was hot

God simply asked me
what did you do all your life
slightly ashamed but if you really want to know
God, this is what i did

"i hung out with these two friends
their names were Yesterday and Tommorrow
they had a friend that i never wanted to meet
and his name was Today"

2007-09-10T21:32:00.000+08:00

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.(NIV)

29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.(NLT)

29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to use in edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.(21stCKJV)

29 污秽的言语一句不可出口，只要随事说造就人的好话，叫听见的人得益处。(CUV)

29Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.(AB)

29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.(NKJV)

29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers(KJV)

many versions to further point my point.
unwholesome words, be gone.

2007-09-07T00:43:00.000+08:00

worrying about family
worrying about friends
worrying about work
worrying about disciples
worrying about relationships
worrying about everything,
which none was what i could change.

procrastinating about sharing tmr
procrastinating about caring tmr
procrastinating about company tmr
procrastinating about asking tmr
procratinating about changing tmr
procrastinating about everything,
which all were i could had done.

doubting about His love
doubting about what He could do
doubting about His ability to hear me
doubting about His ability to care
doubting about His timing
doubting about His words
doubting about everything,
which none of them was untrue.

here i am.
seventeen years of my life
i wasted them on
doubting worrying procrastinating
when i could had done that little bit for Him
but yet He loved me still.
holding me in His arms
saying

"you are My daughter and you are much loved by Me.
I will never leave you, as long as you never leave Me.
mark this promise. it's from Me to you.
even if u are trampled by Man under their feets,
i seen your tears through them all.
and when you feel that the world had left you,
they had left Me first."

all that i have
i offer it to You
all that i held
i give it to You

all my selfish wants
take it all with You
i'm Yours to use
i'm Yours to use

a stubborn clay i was
now broken and ready
i'm all Yours to shape.

nothing in my hands
could compare to You
nothing that i have
could match up to Yours
although i do not have much
still You say
give Me all you have

i'll run to You
You are my shield
my shelter and my all
i'll run to You
take me as You find me
mould me refine me
use me for Your plans

finally breaking down in front of Him
i felt ashamed of thinking that i knew it all
i'm going to stop saying
i know i know i know
and to change it into a
i do i love i'm Yours.

2007-09-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

SO YOU WOULD COME

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

i rarely put songs in my blog, unless they impacted me alot.
and here's one(:

2007-09-04T19:08:00.000+08:00

i was so tired during work today, towards the end.
a new trainee manager came and we roll - called cos of him.
i am to guide him for the day.
he's tall. he's from NP too. he's from BS too. he's 19. he's cheng yeow. lol.
really been ran ragged. lunch hour was again warzone..
and towards the end, i even serve a customer like this:
*holding to a cup of latte*
sir, your orange juice.
ERTS. embarassing!!

i need just that little social life..

2007-09-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

Step By Step
He does not lead me year by year
Nor even day by day.
But step by step my path unfolds;
My Lord directs my way.

Tomorrow’s paths, I do not know.
I only know this minute:
But He will say,
“This is the way.By faith now walk ye in it.”

And I am glad that it is so.
Today’s enough to bear;
And when tomorrow comes, His grace
Shall far exceed its care.

What need to worry then, or fret?
The God who gave His Son
Holds all my moments in His hand
And gives them, one by one

-living in today. that's my prayer.
tommorrow has it's own problems.
i shall not overburden myself.

Jim Died Today!
"Around the corner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end;
Yet days go by, and weeks rush on,
And before I know it a year has gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race.
He knows I like him just as well
As in the days I rang his bell,And he rang mine.
We were younger then,

And now we're busy, tired men;
Tired with playing a foolish game,
Tired with trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow,' I say, I'll call on Jim,
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.

'But tomorrow comes, and tomorrow goes,
And the distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner -- and yet miles away...
'Here's a telegram, sir... Jim died today.'

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end --
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

-a poem dat i did in sec 4 literature class.
dug it all out cos pastor mentioned it last sat.
pondered over it.
and decided that my friends deserved more.
they deserve to hear bout God.

Through It All!
"I've had many tears and sorrows;
I've had questions for tomorrow;
There have been times
I didn't know right from wrong;

But in every situation
God gave blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong.

I thank God for the mountains,
I thank Him for the valleys;
I thank Him for the storms
He brought me through;

For if I'd never had a problem,
I wouldn't know that He could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Through it all, through it all
Oh, I've learned to trust in Jesus
,I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all. Through it all.
Oh, I've learned to depend upon His Word."

-in times of problems, don whine and blame God for putting u thru them.
without knowing how hard things can get, u nv know how good our God can be.

2007-09-03T00:48:00.001+08:00

i can go mission trip ler.
weee(:

Money will not stop me from gg
Money will not stop me from saying
I WANT YOU DADDY,
I NEED YOU.
*hold Money by the neck*
YOU HAVE NO HOLD OVER ME
*kicks it away*

to my old friends
new friends will not take ur places one
don worry.
heeeeeee(x

words may hurt me
those words coming from you
would hurt me even more
but i choose to smile under all these words
cos Daddy comforts me.
don DON come to my funeral please.

2007-09-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

since young, i will always cry when i don get the things i want/need.
no, im not a spolit brat.
it's not when things don go MY WAY, that i am upset.
it is when things i really wanted is NOT GIVEN to me.
and when my mum said no, there went the childhood me.
not in front of her of cos.
what's wrong with thailand.
can anybody tell me?

2007-09-01T02:10:00.001+08:00

i got some prayer requests.
so for that little amount of people who do come to my blog, please help by praying for me(:
thank you thank you.

1) my back hurts. i dono why. ( no, i don wan see doctor)
2) i wanna go MT.

money [CLEARED]
school [WILL BE ABLE TO BE CLEARED]
parents[MUM SAYS NO.]
for reason, please ask me urself.
cant say on blog.

3) work conflict.
many ppl are quiting.
nid the job for MT funds and for survival basically.
so.. haha..
i nd patience? and.. peace. =/

thanks people.

loves(:

2007-09-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

went back to school today!
but as if VP only. erts.
at least i got to see OWYANG JINGYI
and some other people who i had not seen for ages.
i rmb zhiqi, she waved from 2nd flr.
wahahhas.

went out with sab sl ongnei weekiat.
first to sab's future workplace.
i shall not comment on how we got there.
it was an awesome long walk.
that's all.
haha.
dampsey dome.
):

xiaofang treat me ice chocolate.
lols.
go diff branches, got treated diff drinks. not bad.
worth the climb!(:
sl went off for followup soon after
and we went back with her.

went for food
went for talks
went for drinks.
went for talks agn.
had fun.
it's awesomely strange how we 4 can mix around so well.
loves loves(:

im sorry elin.
come back please.
kent can be sacked for all we care.
weeee(:

2007-08-31T03:07:00.000+08:00

worked for 3 days.
the varieties of words used there.
really tempted me to take out my 05/06 "dictionary"
oh well.
i will not.
i WILL NOT be influenced by my surrounding.
kent BLAH me, elin and prabu help me BLAH him back.
awesome two of them.
loves(:

im learning sf alr.
yes, believe it.

was really upset over sth today,
sorry to all who talked to me and got the
oh hah ya
kind of answers.
and special thanks to ongnei.
althou u are stil an ONGNOOB.
lols(:

"if you would just trust Me, I will grant you all things."
Daddy dui wo shuo(:

2007-08-28T21:25:00.000+08:00

working.
prabu say he's proud of me.
cos i so long never work ler,
stil can remember everything!
he don even have to teach me.
wahahas.
pregnant customers are ultra picky and fussy and impatient and SHOUT-y.
table 33. HOIHOI!(:
2 people are quitting becos of HER.
piang eh

i went to work alone.
went to eat alone.
walked alone
went to suntec alone
went home alone.

teckwhyelane. do you know that yoo are missed?
lol-ed.

Imagine Me Without You
Jaci Velasquez
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

2007-08-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

three loves of my life(:

Human failed me, but God did not and will never do.
Human disappointed me, but God did not and will never do.
Human turned their back against me, but God did not and will never do.
Human pangsehed me, but God did not and will never do.
Human judged me, but God did not and will never do.
Human treated me like grass, but God did not and will never do.
He held me precious in His hands,
showing me what are the real loves of my life that i shud focus on.
i want the best for my cell grp
i want the best for my ministry
i want the best for rowena
i want the best for everybody i loved , love , am loving(:

went out today with ongnei , sab, ken.
i reached at 10 larhh!!!
peng piang pheng~
and. tadas! they reached at 1215.
someone say that is very late.
i looked totally like a noob walking around,
since shops in bugis don open so early too!
but nehmind.
anw.we walked ard. and left for ps after ongnei bought his gou lian~
and at ps, ken blessed us with icecreams! heeeeeee(x
watched blood brothers.
oh man. it totally sian diao-ed me.
blood blood blood.
oh well. i shud had expected it.
BLOOD brothers, what can i expect?
haha!
was a fun day out with them.
tmr i shall work! YES!
(:

2007-08-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

i learnt plucking today.
had fun chilling with lp.
and yes, we on-ed aircon.
it was chill-ed enuf(:

went to meet ade today for discussion
it was more of huai-jiu-ing lor.
we sidetrack til super ultra jialat.
heeeeeee
and she dono how to cut bread!
OPPS. your secret is out. (x
photos to be up.. when she comes online and sends me.
hee.

went to popular to jalan jalan, plus to
be aunty according to ade.
aunty-ed ard and then went to the boooks!
some titles that caught my eyes and i really wanna read them
disciplines of a Godly woman
the power of a praying woman[heard from someone before that it's good]
every young woman's battle
kissing dating goodbye[as introduced by ong]

read their summary at the back of them.
sounds good.
til then..(:

some expired photos,
recently i found them in my lappie while clearing out sth else.

the act cute de qiaoyi

the bei tou pai de me

the kena bullied by xueli de me

the hen dao de we all 4

the zi lian de me and ade

im starting work next tues.
looking forward.
garyyyyyyy.
erts(:

2007-08-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

Why
Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hourI must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

as i listen to this song,
tears and everything came along.
overwhelmed by His grace and mercy.

2007-08-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

it was those times
that i was fourth from the front
that you insisted that you are
that zero point five centimetre
taller than me and so
you became fifth.

it was those times
that i was bullied by them
that you insisted that you are
in this as much as i am
and so we had an it between us
the egg.

it was those times
that i brought my phone to school and you didnt
that you chased me around wanting to borrow it
to call your mother, and so
we ran til the stairs
by the hall.

it was those times
that i went to school to buy
all that we need for sec 1 and u came along too.
the wrong queue that you lined in.
the telling of uniform aunty
"4 of the same"..

it was those times
that i introduced u to the best fren u had now
at the concourse.
near our locker 197
i remembered you were shy
but i laughed it away for you.

it was those times
that i always ran into ur class
so oftenly that ppl mistook it
all the
"i forget bring locker keys"..
and the mad rush to snatch the keys!

it was those times
the taxi stands..
the waiting of the car..
the
"sorry, late again"
the fight that we had over this

it was those times
where we disagreed
and we quarrelled over your bad choices
you insisted on ur way
and i ended up holding back my
"i told you so"

it was those times
that we cud fight over
mac vs ljs
nugget vs fillet
you always ended up winning
wonder why.

it was those times
the times over nine years.
the friendship i held dearly to
there might be times we fought
but somehow we stood by one another thru
will it still be the same now?

and also cos of this love for you,
my dear friend, my dear sister.
i really want to see you back in church.
not to be another +1 to the number of members we have..
but as a child of God, to see you coming back to Daddy's arm.
you urself tasted His love before.
it was so good.
how can you bear to give It away?
i miss you (x
so do Daddy.
it doesn't matter how many times you failed Him..
what matter is that you are willing to come back to Him.
He will jus sweep you up in His arms,
no questions asked.
no scoldings given.
Daddy is waiting.
will you?

2007-08-22T17:13:00.000+08:00

finished clearing. i spent my aftnn jus like that.
awesome.

the pic on the left is a postcard lishan wrote to me in 2004.
the one on the right, is the game that she played with us during bs.
using newspaper cuttings.
forming verses.
aww.

i love lishan(:
it is til now , that i know that what u did was for my good.
although i stil don agree with ur ways.
but i still love u the same(:

the top 3 are the phamplet that we get every sat.
2005,2006,2007.
the btm 3, first from left
brigade ministry update 2005(GB)
in the centre,
a chalet invitation card. we sec3 planned it. 2005.
first from the right,
bigade ministry update 2005(BB)

the pin
national drill competition 2004(regional)
pink cloth.
rtc 06 group.
wire
it is supposed to reflect "cecilia".
BUT UNFORTUNATELY.
i dono how to kp things properly one):
from someone in rowl, 2004.

a photo that i found . me and dorothy, 2005.
i miss you
will you be back?

some stamp book, which is supposed to depict the bible.
quite cute. many stories inside.

and this is the amt of rubbish im gg to sell to karung guni man tmr.
wooohoo.

sth jus tramuatised me.
hah, siewling you know(:
awesome?
heeh

2007-08-22T14:45:00.000+08:00

and this is one of the shirts i bought ytd.
little miss late
siewling insisted that it is just so ME.
hoi! hahahhas.

and then.. today.
was packing my room
[ and yes, people who know me enuf, please exclaim]
torture. pure torture.
now i understand why they say girls got alot of things.
yes, i do.
and i found some lsot stuff
that i was very sad over their loss

and they are..

some cert to say tat im offically out of bbss.
my conduct is VERY GOOD!(:

the result slip
results: undisclosed(:

the envelope thingy that they put the result slip in.

my ttmn. some amusing sentences
:she is diplomatic( i dono what it means, and don wish to know. haha)
:self motivated and works well under stress.(next time my boss see le, put extra stress on me.lol)
:adapts well to changing circumstances(so im a chameleon? heee)
:enjoys honing her skills in mathematics(that's true)
:she attained the rank of staff sergeant in 2006(this is not amusing, it's a nice fact*beams*)
:practical, hands-on person and her preparedness to take the polytechnic route(haha, she fixed my "destination" alr)

wheeee. im so happy i found them.
hee.

2007-08-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

I ENDED MY EXAMS
MY FIRST END SEM EXAMS
IN MY POLY LIFE
HEEEEEEEEE (x
some replies to tag. lazy to type in the tagboard.
mk: im not THAT lazy laaaa. jus that i like to nua here and there.
by the time i get ready to do sth, no time alr!(:
julia: urs i oso sometimes cant lor. hahas.fair la(:

yz: I ENDED PAPER ALR. WOOOHOOOOOO. ci ji ni!(:

lp: of cos. my angel ma. hahahhas. but he made me feel like i lived on sua teng la. hahaa

alvin: paa!!! faster come back larr! i wan my bike trip one. haha!(:

mk: stil got FIAT! u know u know! heeee

okay. back to normal stuff.

me and siewling went shopping today!

shall display them all other day.

my phone is throwing a tantrum like usual.

hohoo.

hais. it's fixed.

cant say im not disappointed.

but i understand the rational..

so yupp.

all is fine(:

2007-08-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

i was late for paper today again.
well.almost la.
and i dono how to go CC level2!
and im late. oh man):
so at the bus stop, i prayed.
God, send me an angel to guide me can?
please~ thank you!
in Jesus' name
amen!

den as i walked. i saw a guy holding on to macro notes.
(i having macro exams)
so i figured he is gg to the same place as me
and true! he walked to cc.
den cc got left and right. to lvl 1 or 2 de.
den i was hoping he turn right, cos mine is there.
and he did.
and then me being a sua ku who is in NP for almost half a year,
dono that there is a lift in CC,
looked ard for ways to go up to lvl2.
and then the lift came
and the guy aka my "angel" waved me over to join him at the lift.
goodness. ultimate sua ku.
heeeeee.
cut the story short,
i found my seat and i started to do my exam.
anw, jus wanna thank God for answering my prayer, and sending me an angel!(:

hooooooho! tmr last paper.
gg out with siewling le!!!
it shall be a walk talk eat walk talk talk day agn.
YAY(:

not everyone listens to sob stories, i understand(:
everything shall revert to secondary3(:
ceterus paribus(:
fiat(:

oh ya, i found out a freaky connection between me and valentine days.
goodness):

2007-08-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

my father packed my room again tmr.
not that i hate it.
i don mind a clean room for once
but then. whenever he pack my room.
he will throw things that is useless in his eyes.
i found my Jesus Freak book on the ground beside my rubbish bin
althou i jus placed it on my side table.
and he threw it.
and now i cant find my macro notes..
cos i leave it on my side table again.
according to my father, the side table cant contain anything one.
and i cant find my notes.
and i cant ask him where it is.
he will not rmb and he will scold me in order to get out of his embarrasment of not rmbing where he keep it for me.
i shall rely on my online notes.
but anw.
thank You Daddy. u blessed me with a neat father. who packs my room for me cos he knows im a lazy fella. heeeee (x

2007-08-19T00:35:00.000+08:00

the light blue words exactly expressed what i want to say to God.

Through the Years
Kenny Rogers

I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything we've missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around
The sweetest days I've found
I've found with you
Through the years, I've never been afraid
I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed right here with you
Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had
I've always been so glad to be with you
Through the years, it's better every day
You've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong right here with you
Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what love's about by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around
The sweetest days I've found
I've found with you
Through the years, it's better every day
You've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years!

as i reflect thru the years, as i look thru my email box, as i look thru old files.. as i read my spiritual journal. i see a change of myself from the past til now.

i learnt to know that the world is not all about CELIA'S LAW OF CONDUCT and CELIA'S WAY, THE ONLY WAY.
i learnt that, in order to be highly worthed by God, i first have to be low in the eyes of Man.
i learnt that vulgarities don not help in anything, except spoiling other's ears.
i learnt that violence is not the answer.
i learnt that what i may know is right, is not right. and what i did not know existed, was the only true one.
i learnt the true meaning of obeying, in God's eyes. after 3 years.
i learnt the true meaning of submitting and giving my heart to God, after 3 years.
i learnt not to pursue worldly love, but to run after the love that God had prepared for me, after 3 years.
i learnt that bad things are allowed to happen to me, not cos God don love me. but it is precisely becos He loved me alot, that's why He chose to let me fall down.

i would always ask WHY.
and He would say one day, you'll get it.
and i would say. i don wan one day. i wan today.
and He will jus keep quiet.
til that day that He chose to reveal the reason to me
and made me hopelessly guilty.
for my atrocious attitude to Him.

over the 3 years.
i've learnt to change my attitude towards Man.
how do i treat them, how do i talk to them.
but i never thought that my attitude towards God was equally bad.
i strived to please Man.
i strived to get approval of people around me.
i pushed myself against my own limits,
not to do God's business,
but to prove my own worth.
to let others stand in awe of me.
i did all the right things, in the eyes of Man.
all were right.
all seems so correct.
but yet they were done with the wrong purpose.
i had a purpose in life.
but it was a wrong purpose.
it was to please Man.
this, i had failed God hopelessly.

refusing to heed His words, i went out to the world and had myself thrashed around
feeling worthless and lowly, it almost seemed that i had crawled back to ask for Daddy's forgiveness.
not once, not twice.
but thrice.
each and every time, He wipes my tears away and said to me
"hush, Daddy is here with you.
I will never leave you, as long as u never leave Me."

becos of this promise of His, to never let me go.
i had the confidence to ask of Him.
i asked for strength, when i needed it.
i asked for wisdom , when i had exams.
i asked for courage, when i was afraid.
i asked for everything, and He gave me all that i needed.

but it is also becos of this promise of His.
it made me take it for granted.
i took His love for me for granted.
like a trash, i trampled it under my feet.
tossing it carelessly around,
never looking back to see the tears in Him
i swing it around,
i twirl it around my finger.
forgetting all bout it when sth else more fun comes by.
like a father who hits the daughter on the hand when he sees her playing fire,
Daddy smack my hand too.
but yet i chose to ignore.
i chose to say that i know what am i doing.
running with the pace of the world.
things beginning to look blur by the sides
and i began to feel afraid.
finally letting in the emengency flashlight in my head that
i am out of control of my life.

crying for Daddy's help,
i almost thought He wud give up on me.
i thought i was degraded and worthless in His eyes.
but yet,
like a father who rescue his daughter from a fire that she created,
Daddy scooped me up in His great arms and said
"hush, Daddy is with you.
I will never leave you, as long as you never leave Me"
not a single star deducted from the ratings,
not a sign of disdainment in the eyes of Him.
i knew, i was still precious in His eyes.

and now.
after all the trials
after all the dramas
after all the heartbreaks
after all the troubles.
im back with Daddy.
this time with a will of determination.
an undescribable peace in me.
a heart convicted of His love for me.
a pair of hands and feets ready for His use.
im confident to say that i've changed.
all becos Daddy moulded me over the years.
the heartbreaks that He let me go through.
though i teared much, im sure Daddy hurted as much as i did,
as He sees me thru it.

even as Daddy is celebrating my 3rd birthday this year.
i want it to be a memorable one.
i want it to be Daddy's day, as much as it is mine.

2007-08-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

i wanna give thanks to God for whatever that happened ytd!
i have a law exam at 9am.
and i slept til 8..
when my brother starting calling my hp like mad. 14 times.
asking me to close his windows for him, cos he forget to close.
and when i closed it, i turn to see the clock, and it is 8!?
crap siah. im supposed to be in hall by 830.
this is the first thing i wanna thank God for.
cos my brother never ever fail to close his windows when he goes out!
and that day he did?
wow.
second thing.
i love my mother laaaaa
she hates to drive in the rain.
cos she scared.
but she hero-ly offered to send me to school, cos im late alr.
[ it was pouring. cats and dogs and cheetahs and all]
thank God for a mother like her.
althou she nags.
althou she scolds.
althou she don understand my love for Christ.
but i really do hope one day she will come to know Him.
and then we will rejoice tgt as a family.

2007-08-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

i bought this to make myself smile.

and i did smile.

heee.

it's supposed to.

it's high on caffaine.

2007-08-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

thank You Daddy for the double blessings that You showered on me(:
and so as i was praying and asking God..
this song came to me.
check it out(:

HIS LOVE IS WARMER
Once I thought that love was meant for anyone else but me.
Once I thought that none knew the way.
Now that only goes to show, how wrong we all can be,
'cause now it seems,he loves me more each day.

His love is warmer than the warmest sunshine,
softer than a sigh.
His love is deeper than the deepest ocean,
wider than the sky.
His love is brighter than the brightest star,
that shines every night above,
and there is nothing in this world than can ever change his love

Something happend to my heart the day I met him.
Something that I never felt before.
And that something is that he has buried my sins,
and every day it seems, he loves me more.

People always talk of love, but never seem to feel;
they taste the world and say that things are fine.
But deep think much runs a thought that it is not real,
and they will realize in time.

so true. hee(x

anw!being the sister of my brother.
i shall advertise his company for him here.
simply said:
IT Services, web design, hosting maintenance, hardware? Call me please!
tadas. if you all know of ppl who wants, oso can contact me.
if not, den jus enjoy the song lyrics up there.

heeeee (x

2007-08-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

met siewling and weiwei to mug at buddy at1.
til pm at 430.
after pm went to mug with mk they all.
til 10, go home.
im turning into a mugging machine.(:

a song written by michelle joy
a very nice song
that speak straight to me(:

-THE ONLY ONE-
Have you ever sought the Lord,
Have you kept your heart still.
Have you ever listened to
that little voice that spoke His will.
Does all that's within your heart
seeks to worship Him alone.
Is it all that thirst in you
make more of Him your own.
On our knees we pray,
that Father you would,
you would open the way.
To Your splendour,Your grace.
Father Father,show us Your face.
Your glory,Your beauty.
Surpassed by no one,
You're the only one,
You're the only one

religiously present.
are you?
every sat going to church.
every sun going to bible study
every wed going to prayer mtg.
are you jus there for
*my cgl ask me to go..*
*go alr, will show godly i am..*
*my friends are gg, den we can go shopping afterwards..*
are u having these mentalities when u go?

Mattthew 6:1

"Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."

are you doing it for man or for God?
if all your cell mates and friends are not gg for prayer mtg,
will you still go for God?

when you sing. do u focus on God alone?
or do you
*oh God i love.... You.... *
in the meanwhile thinking..
*after this i wan go eat mac..*
*eat fish de.. nice ehh..*
with this mixture.
what will ur train of thoughts be?
most likely..
*oh God i love fish..*
like what are you meaning?!

get serious with Him.
stop fooling.
let it just be
oh God i love you.
period.

2007-08-14T22:42:00.000+08:00

im tired.pictures shall speak today.

firstly i went to

den i went to

de

to study

and sl proclaimed her love 4 me

and surely

she wants me to profess my love for her too

we love each other

and randomly enuf,
i love my family and ah ma too.

my room is in a mess.
a sty that even a pig refuse to live in,
according to my mum.
i nd some clearing up.
crap (x

2007-08-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

stabbers.
you are getting your wish.
say yay.

2007-08-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

cant imagine why ppl can write such emo songs. like.

动力火车

知道你不是真的爱我

词曲:尤秋兴

从你渐渐地沉默
发现你想要离开我
慢慢消失的温柔
谁能够承受为你
伤悲为你泪流
日子不好过又如何
还有什么可以保留
什么都没有喔~~
知道你不是真的爱我喔~~

最爱的时后你却要走
多苦我都会承受
最怕你什么都不说
几个伤口几次痛
谁付出较多
为你伤悲为你泪流
日子不好过又如何
还有什么可以保留
什么都没有喔~~

知道你不是真的爱我喔~~
最爱的时候你却要走喔~~
知道你不会永远爱我喔~~

我来的时候你已远走
怪我自己纵容你太自由
爱情里失守却不能多说
对我来说这结果太刺痛
你真的要走我还能说什么

den so if u know the guy wan to leave alr.den u stil get so upset and emotional over him for what? as if he cares?
guard ur hearts girls.
guard it well
and Daddy will give u the best of all(:

2007-08-13T19:31:00.000+08:00

i love mugmug sessions(:
just mugged with angeline and von at wm bk.
long time since i ever talked to angeline. hohoo.
voooooooooooooon! rmb bout the thing that u saw in my firstSTEP book that u borrowed from me that time okay. the 3 names, and now it's down to one. haha!(:

went home relatively early.
and i tried out the 177 bus.
never taken it before.only knew it went to bp.
it was so fast. FASTER den normal 187 or 176.
bad part is that it is only for a specific timing. so must catch the timing.
and then i went to the lib. since i wanna find some books.

walking to the OPAC thingy. one thing caught my eye.
the word "SINGLE".
curious me went to click SEARCH on that keyword.
and i scrolled..
and scrolled..
and scrolled.
the amazing fact is the titles like
"how to ditch single"
"101guide to being NOT single"
"the idiot guide to getting a boyfriend"
"single no more!"
and the list goes on.
and thus i realise this is how the world views singlehood.
as something that is to be avoided at all costs, once u hit the age of dread-able 15.
to be without a boyfriend by 15, or even worse, not to be even in a r/s til then,
it is like commiting some murderous crime.
when the fact is that.
you just want to enjoy your singlehood. and not let some man who runs past you spoil your single status and spin u all around, to wake u up in an empty dream.
and the fact is that.
even as i enter poly. the first thing that ppl look out or ask would be
"do you have a boyfriend?"
or whenever a msg or call from a guy-friend comes, wolfs mysteriously begin to appear and whistles blow.

i remember one encounter.
one of my classmate casually drop this question
"so where do you all and your boyfriend go for dates ar?"
[ note. it was a straight assumption that we all had boyfriends]
and as they giggled and ooohhh and ahhh over the various hotspots, so to say,
i turned on the fountains on them by dropping an equally casual statement
"huh, boyfriend? no la, i don have"
suddenly. all eyes were on me. all jaws on the ground.
"you mean you don have a boyfriend? like. like WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
or weird qn to fill up the blanks like
" oh.. . oh.. . .. .. oh.. but.. oh... but.. u had one before right?!"
and up til now. i had enough of the world's view of "NO BOYFRIEND, NO LIFE".

now. here for some Daddy's view of "NO GOD , NO LIFE"

Song of Songs 3:5
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready.

no explaination needed, right?
God's timing. wait for it.
clear cut.

Ecclesiastes 12:1
1 Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
"I find no pleasure in them"-

Jeremiah 22:21
I warned you when you felt secure, but you said, 'I will not listen!' This has been your way from your youth; you have not obeyed me.

and so everything begins from youth.
it's the most impt period of our life.
our youth.
use it or waste it.
ur choice.

2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

don deny.
all youths have some sort of evil desires.
what differs is the way that we deal with it.
will you go with it.
or go with God?

2 Corinthians 4:18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

what is seen now?
relationship.
bgr.
premarital sex.
that's what is seen in the world now.
temporal thrills.
oh whatever.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

pattern of the world.
the jaw-drop, eye-bulge face
to the one who choose to be single.
point taken.

will we conform?
or will we stand for what we believe?
there is nothing wrong with singlehood.
and so. FIAT(:

2007-08-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

oh and i just wanna thank God for each and every cellmate i have in ACTS 4.1.
edward
yvonne
rowena
ann
clara
mag
ziya
dorothy
shenhan
junhong
alfone
kendrick
leon
qizhi
mingyang
koonzheng
and more to come. YES!

all of you all are a special blessing to me somehow or rather.
thank God for all of you(:

2007-08-11T00:57:00.000+08:00

cleared it all.

when things seems overwhelming and you dono where u are. u jus felt like u are stuck in some ever spinning bottle. take a step out, look into ur own life. you may nd some spring cleaning in ur life.(:

a certain breaking free
an undefine-able joy in me

that's the great awakening.
the shake that shoke me up.
the jolt that jolted me out.

and now it is all back with Daddy again.

it's only when u feel peace within u and u cant explain why u have that peace in you.
that is when u are doing the right thing.
a sentence which a person told me before.
and it's stuck with me since then
really true.

and now i have the joy in my heart.
i got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart(:
WHERE?
down in my heart to stay (x

2007-08-10T01:39:00.000+08:00

ABOVE ALL

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began
Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
Above all

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all
And thought of me
Above all
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

had you ever felt rejected and alone?
fret not.
Jesus went thru it too.
while dying for you and me
this national day.
even as it had jus passed.
rmb what where u came from.
where this nation came from
it came from Him.

the largest failure in life is not to fail.
it is not knowing
where u come from
why u are here
and where are you heading to.
that. is failing.
miserably.and utterly.

think bout it.
mulls(x

2007-08-10T00:42:00.000+08:00

boring national day. but it was unbored by the stupid acts of me yz and mk(:

the people who are with me this NATIONAL DAY!(: look at the constrast of cleanliness of plates. *ashamed* heh(:

the dishes. there was one more. the you tiao thingy. i forget why i never take a snap of it alr. and the chilli. that made mk so HOT. hoho.

and finally the bill. the top is covered cos it was dirtied by yours truly. (x

afterwards we went on to yz hse for session of roller blading cum cycling.

and after one year of not roller blading. im doing it agn.

ending up with injuries as shown above.

hehe (x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE.
YOU ARE FORTY TWO(x

2007-08-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

don you all find it amusing to see ppl fretting over things that they cant control?
this way they fret.
that way they fret.
either way, they ain't happy.
when you see him in school,
you hope he flunk his modules and transfer school
but when he is really transfering
u wreck ur brain trying to talk him out of transfering.
when he walk past you in school and u sees him in that tshirt that u bought him
all you want to do is to pull that shirt off him and say he don deserve to wear it
but somewhere in the back of ur mind,
you are smiling to yourself
saying HEY, HE'S STILL WEARING IT.
and then thoughts began to come..
does he stil like me?
or not, why stil wear the shirt i bought?
nono, don think so much..
he jus happen to like the shirt.. not the giver..
but..
all you use up all ur brain cells trying to figure out why is he wearing that shirt.
wearing the ring he gave you.
knowing that it will bring you pain.
yet u stil want to wear it
cos somewhere in the back of ur mind,
you wants to keep a part of him near you.
listening to the songs he used to sing to you.
enjoying the tears flowing out of you.
jus to feel that same feelings as that time.
typing in his msn convo, ready to send
jus to chicken out at the last min.
jus cos u are afraid of losing face. thinking..
if i talk to him first, i lose alr!
but. come to think about it.
what is face and pride when it comes to the person whom u love?
wun you lay ur pride down in front of the person?
or will u still wear the mask?
*muses*
well. overall. althou im a girl myself.
i do admit
girls are dumb.
weeh (x

2007-08-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

the will to seek is lost
the will to go is gone
the will to ask is forsaken
giving up is such an easy option

no no'more
of this finger pointing
i don't want to do this anymore.

i don't want to break Your heart anymore
times and again You forgave me
yet i threw it all away times and again
i don't want to do this anymore
i want to love You
i want to love You

i am coming back to You
i am coming back to You
cos i am Yours.

giving up is such an easy option isnt it?
got prob, give up
cant do it, give up.
everything ppl will think of giving up.
why!
den if the guy (whatever his name is) who invented light bulb, gave up
den we will stil be using candles now.
den if the person(im supposed to rmb his name) who invented money, gave up
den we will still be trading an apple for 2 oranges kind of thing.
what u had not gave up today, might become sth of great worth
mayb not in monetary, but surely of great worth to someone.
u might be a person to the world.
but u might be the world to someone
never brush someone aside so anyhow-ly.
don.

2007-08-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

God You are the God who reign
through the trials and pains
still You remain pure.
and even when i fail
God You are the God who holds me close

sick and tired of this cycle
God i don't want to keep coming back
saying the same old prayer

"God forgive me as i fail You again
I need You. i want You.
it's Your will i'll seek
cos there is no longer me"

unloved no more
i am secured in Your love
unseen no more
Your love is for all to see
forsaken no more abandoned no more

this prayer i pray.
in Your name
i use in vain no more.
amen.

God is true all the time.
i cant deny that i know this wonderful Savior of my life.
cos He is jus so true and real in my life.
everyday He's there.
thru my failures and joy,
He is there.
He smiles when i smile
He hurts when im hurt.
He see my tears when i cried
quietly He tugs at me, telling me that He is there for me.
i brushed it off, obsessed with myself.
but yet, when i finally wake up from it.
He is still there holding out the tissue that He had been holding since then.
"there you go. tissue provided, shoulder free for comfort"
sorry Daddy. i never cud know how much You gave.
in every bad situation i am in, He is always there to give me a pat on the shoulder and whisper that" hush, don worry, im here".
every nightmare i wake up from, i know He's there to calm me.
when i am noisy, He smiles.
when i am down, He comforts.
when i am so alone , He's there
everyday is a new day. cos He says that today will be a good day, cos He is with me
He is the only true 24/7 , 365/year kind of friend.
no needs for phone, no needs for language
all you need is your heart.
His is ever ready there, stand by mode to connect.
will you turn on your ON button?

one more thing.(credit to sandy yeo)
i will be your tree, i will protect u from the storm
even when you bite me, i will stil shield you.
to my ant(:

2007-08-06T09:46:00.000+08:00

alright. just some special things that happen ytd.

ann borrowed my laptop and then in the end she wrote on my post it notes
-"hello celia. work hard alright :) ann loves you. hahaha."
that's so nice.
when's the last time you(you, not ann. hahah) said that to someone else?

and then..

i had dinner with weiwei.
which both of us didnt eat finish.
cos it is so SO CREAMY.

and then..

i took bus with ro to go home!
and i still dono where exactly she leave.
i wanna go her hse one day.!!

and then..

i helped yz do her project!!
html coding.
woohoo.
wo xi huan(:

and then..

i finally got a reply.
but it don matter anymore leh
and it came when most unexpected.
so..
don worry bout what had not happened
or fret over what had happened.

Matt 6:25

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

bad dreams i hate little boys. for now.

2007-08-05T21:28:00.000+08:00

oh so you say.
i'll take what is said.
no harm done.
it doesnt matter anymore

(larger fonts is for weiwei, the aging person, who complains that she cant see my font. haha!!)

2007-08-03T14:30:00.000+08:00

im bored. so i shall blog again.
spending my nice nice friday alone in campus really made me see the nice side of NP.
it's like.
it's nice that they don build shelter for us.
make us take in more vitamin _(i dono what alphabet. A or B or D or what)
it's nice that they don build nice straight roads
make us walk more. excercise!
it's nice that they don put air con in canteens
natural wind from the outside. healthier.
it's nice that we don have Mac or whatso ever.
lesser oily foods. make us less fatter.
it's nice that we have the letter sending thingy whenever we skip lesson
help us become better students.
it's nice that the lib has no lifts
so that those who are un-lazy enuf(i dono what's the opp of lazy), will get seats on higher lvls
it's nice that we have the no eating policy in lib.
at least we wun see mr zhaNG sitting beside us.
it's nice that we have the self choosing timetable systems
we wun get stuck with ppl whom we ____.
so overall. NP is a nice nice school laa. appreciate it more.
but it doesnt take away my wants to whine bout it from time to time thou
haha!(:

2007-08-03T10:44:00.000+08:00

i woke up specially to eat breakfast with my parents at 8am, when i have lessons only at 3pm.
i got my dad to fetch me to a bus stop, ending up walking back to plaza cos i wanna get sweets to feed my lack of sugar body.
i tied my hair on bus , and not a strand was out of place.
deleted 491 msges from my phone inbox.
read some msg, and furiously dlted them.
randomly missed _____ ___
i saw fedora jus now. a team mate of orientation camp. she was juggling with her stuff on hand, phone between neck and shoulder, and yet trying to wave frantically at me. totally spastic(:
i am alone in library now.
im moving towards feeling fine being alone again.
i got my Daddy sitting beside me. *pats the chair*
im gg to yuzhen hse tonight to study. and we are determined not to have distractions.
my phone jus rang out LOUD in the quiet library. and it went
dear God, thank You for loving me~
oooh.
typing in this blog now, trying to waste time til 1215, before i meet jacinta kwee.
having bad flu and sore throat and ear pain and lots of crap in me now.
and yet eating chocolates.
oppsies.
i need the sugar. don blame me(:
my shirt and sandal color clashed badly today.
i hope my friends aint late to meet for lunch agn.
there is a mad guy waving across the lib at me/ the ppl beside me.
wearing a suit and tie and everything, looking professional.
and then waving like a mad man?
oh goodness. he's banging the wall now.
he needs mr thomas ong.
ERTS!
hehe.
i just want someone to reply me.
reply me leh.
im randomly random.
no more to add alr.
individual sentences, makng up my whole morning life(:
cheerio people.

2007-08-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

human are so superficial.

look for themselves

backstabbed and left

and they still got the face to smile at you and ask

YOU NEED HELP?

please lehs.

if u really want to backstab, i rather you dao me and give me a clear signal that

I AM GG TO BACKSTAB U, WATCH OUT.

and not smile sweetly at me and give me that

I AM SO INNOCENT, I WUN DO ANYTHING TO YOU

cute little kitty by the roadside face.

goodness gracious. PLEASE!

but i guess this is how poly runs. or at least for me.

and it don really help when the tcher is not on your side and she is trying to stand at the majority of the class's side, since she is afraid of THEM marking HER down.

but does it mean that, that give THEM the right to mark US down?

a thousand noS.

on a lighter note, me and jacinta kwee talked it out with the mgt tcher.

who gave us so called a second chance and ask us to send it what we did.

gave it our best shot.

although i am not the best mgt student around. BUT

i surely think i don deserve what i got.

true, that since the start of the sem, me and jac aint the best budd with the class ppl

on a harsher note, we can be said to be outcasted.

but as outcasted as we are, i don expect to be stabbed like this.

i mean

oucasted. u are supposed to leave the person alone right?

forget bout this class.

come next sem.

u see me and jac disappear.

most likely running into sl's class.

although there might be cliques

but they are relatively nice people.

unlike SOME PEOPLE.

bleahs.

but still.

thank GOD for jacinta kwee ca'an ping.

she's a real friend whom i found in poly. the only one that is jabbing in my ear

WAKE UP CECILIA LOO. U ND TO STUDY

(that's it, other den siewling. sl is dere to jab too during lectures)

a real support when i am so frantic trying to find the answer or the qn that the tchers shoot at me and yet pretend that i am so in control.

she whispers the answer as i malnipulate the words around

to make it sound chim yet totally utter crap.

smiles(:

eating sushi with me and sliding into class tgt

doing projects tgt.

mugging and complaining and sharing bout many things.

letting me laugh at her lang bei de yang zi when she is hands full with her bag wallet half eaten sushi laptop and even once, tried to msg while juggling all the other things.

of course, all the sleeping in library and napping around.

the walking tgt to bus stop, althou we are taking different buses.

the "meet at sushi 855, don b late" msges.

really thank you God a million to the power of thousands time, for putting this crazy girl in my life, in this poly, in my tutorial class, to be my friend.

and thanks JACINTA KWEEEEEE, the spastic princess(:

sorry if i gave all of u goose bumps. but i really want to tell her how much i appreciate her la.

haha(:
anw back to daily stuff.
as i was gg home from westmal, i thought of many things.
and what God told me was that
don despair! u have Me what. u scared what? u cry what?
yupp. so i decided to trust Him all the way.
through all these years.
i went through quite alot of things i can say.
these 3 years had been my most "exciting" years of my whole life.
and thru all these, i learnt how to trust God more. to trust in the unseen.
that is having faith.
believing in the unseen, holding on to the Truth.
and indeed, God never fails.
from at first my dad is anti me gg to church, he supported me in gg for mT.
and then it went from my mum disagreeing to let me go for MT, til now she agree to spon me the $.
really love my parents alot.
enjoy the time i have breakfast and dinner with them
i love them.
somehow. i hope my mum finds her way to my blog. and read this
although i said that to them b4
but it's always nice to see it in B&W right?
haha.
stand tall
stand strong
for my God
is Lord of all(:

2007-08-01T00:43:00.001+08:00

CHINA MISSION TRIP.
i wanna go.
my mother don let me go
my father want me go.
conclusion.
unknown.
let's wait for breakfast tmr.
but one thing for sure.
the money is gg to be out of my own pocket.
which i have totally no idea on HOW.
but well..
believe that God will provide,
jiu must believe dao di.
haha!
shall
fast and pray til everything is confirmed.
who knows.
satan loves to attack when we are not protecting!
come on, for those ppl who stil haven ask/or thinking if shud go or not.
do it man!(: